nice kid killer.

I ran into M on Espana Street tonight and offered to buy him some food.  He tends to move around the city often, and I'm never really sure when and where I'll run into him.  But lately, I've enjoyed seeing him most evenings in town where he goes to wash windows and pick-pocket on the side.

We bought some greasy food from a street vendor and sat down in the Plaza Colon to have a chat.  I asked how things have been going for him, and he filled me in on some bridge rivalries and fights.  The bridge he's at is fighting with the the kids from America Avenue (my bridge) because the America kids are starting to smoke crack more and more, but instead of buying it from M's bridge, they purchase it elsewhere.  On the streets, that's reason enough for a knife fight.  So M gave me all the details on who got cut and where.  I said they should just sell it for a little cheaper, but street kids aren't really business savvy.

I was able to talk with him a little bit about just how unnecessary and unfortunate all that violence is...  I know that it's "kill or be killed" on the streets (sometimes literally, sometimes not), and I asked him what he thought about all that.  He looked at me sincerely and said he's sick of it and wants to go home, but like all street kids, he had several reasons why he couldn't go home tonight...

At one point he asked me if I knew that Vladimir had died, which of course I did (see here).  His death is actually one of two suicides (see here for the other) from last October that were very difficult for me to deal with.  One of several things I did in order to seek healing and wholeness while I was home in the US was to work through those tragedies with a great Christian counselor.  And it's only because of his help and the way the Lord has healed my heart that I was able to have the following conversation with M:

(It's a little graphic... )

I had heard a lot of rumors about how Vladimir ended up in hospital Viedma, but had never spoken to anyone who was with him when everything went down.  But M was with there and was part of the fight, and tonight I heard the whole story.

M told me that Vladi had this girlfriend (on the streets, girlfriends cause enormous amounts of trouble) who cheated on him with a guy from La Paz called Paceno.  Well, one night when M was with Vladi downtown, they went over to confront and fight Paceno over the girl.  During the fight, Paceno pulled out a knife with a 6" blade and stabbed/sliced Vladi in the stomach.  M said that Vladi's intestines spilled out and that there was blood everywhere.

After that, Paceno took off running, but M and the other guys who were with Vladi chased him down.  They took his knife and stabbed him repeatedly in the stomach, in the lungs, in the heart...  M said he died right there on the street.  (I hadn't heard any of that.)  Then, the guys put Vladi in a taxi and took him to Viedma, where he was recovering for 2 weeks before he jumped out of the window.

I was a little bit shocked sitting next to M while he was telling me all this, just because I have never thought of him as a violent guy.  In fact, he was one of the boys that always went to church with me...  I told him what I was thinking...  He said that he's not violent, but that he has to protect his friends.  That's just how the streets are.

Nice kids can be killers.

We talked in depth about what it would take to get him off the streets and how I could help.  His mom and dad would be happy to have him return, but he's not from a particularly stable family.  His dad works out in the country, and his mom cooks and sells food at cock fights.  Even so, it's better than the dangerous life he's leading on the streets.

And we finished by talking about the life God has for him...   M said he prays often and asks the Lord to forgive the things he's done because he knows that they're wrong.  We discussed God's grace and love and mercy...  And I told him a little bit about my relationship with God and about how we can know and love God like we know and love a person...

It was a good, long conversation, and M asked if I'd come talk to him more tomorrow.  I'm planning to do so...

So please be praying for M... for safety, because the devil hits hard as soon as the kids start turning towards the Lord... for an open heart... and for a desire to change.

ernst haeckel

I recently discovered the beautiful artwork of Ernst Haeckel, the German biologist, naturalist, philosopher, physician, professor, and artist who published these beautiful illustrations in 1904.

I thought they were worth sharing (especially the first one!).

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved.

Romans 8:19-24

sisu.

dry bones.

My soul cries out
My soul cries out for You

These bones cry out

These dry bones cry for You

To live and move

Only You

Can raise the dead

Lift my head up

Jesus, You’re the one who saves us

Constantly creates us into something new

Jesus surely you will find us

Surely our Messiah will make all things new

Will make all things new

Life is breaking out

Is breaking out

Life is breaking out

Is breaking out

Is breaking out 

love embodied.

I was thinking the other day how I would title this chapter of life... And, well, I decided that these past few months aren't really a chapter of my life, they are a whole new book made up of all sorts of little chapters. I think the title of the book should be Metamorphosis... And I think I'd like to title one the chapters, which I'm currently living, something like this: Being Infused With a Supernatural Love.

I see how impossible it is to live the love that Christ calls us to unless we die to ourselves and are infused with a supernatural love.

Paul's first letter to the Corinthian church, 13:4-7 (ESV)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In light of Jesus' call for us to die to ourselves, what do these character traits of love look like?

Being patient means dying to the desire of an untroubled life.

Being kind means dying to the fear that others may not return that kindness.

Having no envy means dying to the desire for unshared affection.

Not boasting means dying to the desire to call attention to our successes.

Not being rude means dying to the desire to express our freedom offensively.

Not insisting on your own way means dying to the dominance of our own preferences.

Not being irritable or resentful means dying to the need for no frustrations.

Not rejoicing at wrongdoing means dying to the desire to see others "get what they deserve."

Bearing or enduring all things means dying to the desire to run away from the pain of obedience.

And if we die to these things, then what do we live to?

Being patient means being willing to enter the situations that are difficult because we believe in the power of the Spirit.

Being kind means living to shower all of the undeserved kindness we receive from God on others.

Having no envy means living to rejoice in what God gives others.

Not boasting means living in the freedom to boast about God and what he has done through others.

Not being rude means living with others in such a way that your freedom is used to build them up and not your own sinful desires.

Not insisting on your own way means living in the confidence that "I live now in Christ's way, trusting that the sovereign God, who is my Father, will always guide me down the right path."

Not being irritable or resentful means living to bring grace into every situation like Jesus did.

Not rejoicing at wrongdoing means living in such a way that others see mercy from us when so many want to give them justice.

Bearing and enduring all things means living unafraid of pain because we know that God uses pain to make us more and more into the image of his son.

When everything else in this world eventually comes to an end, love will not. It is eternal. Just think how radically we could live on this earth earth if we lived in light of eternity!

Those lists are from a message I listened to the other day by one of the elders from Cornerstone, Francis Chan's church in California, Todd Nighswonger, and the message is called Love Embodied. You can find the video podcast on the website: www.cornerstonesimi.com under the "media" tab on the left.

42 airplanes.

I'm sitting in the Salt Lake City airport on my way to visit friends in Portland, Oregon. I take back the disparaging thoughts I've had about Utah because it looks surprisingly beautiful out the window with snowcapped mountains and bright blue skies.

On the flight over here from Chicago, I added up (with the help of pen and paper) the number of airplanes that I've been on in the last 6 months and came up with a grand total of 42 airplanes. Of course, many of those were connecting flights, and I didn't even pay for half of them... But that's a lot of traveling, especially considering that during those 6 months I made 7 trips between the US and Bolivia.

I want to share a video that a friend posted on Facebook a few days ago that got me thinking about all this traveling...

It's been a process, but God's been opening my eyes to how lost and hurting people are here, despite appearances... It's impossible to miss noticing just how much people need God in Bolivia, but somehow I've overlooked it here in America. Or maybe I've just not been sensitive... I encounter so many people in this nomadic life I'm living, and I tend to see right past them without ever noticing them. I travel with an ipod and book, lost in my own world. Such a shame to have wasted so many opportunities to share truth and love with people. But I'm encouraged by this new insight to be bold and to reach out to people, and I'm so thankful that God still continues to shape and mold my heart.

homeward bound.

It's a funny thing when you're willing to go anywhere and do anything that God asks... to love and help the poorest of the poor... to give up comforts and leave behind friends or family... to contract scabies and parasites... to witness death and utter despair... to give all of your time, money, and love away... And instead of taking you to the ends of the earth, God sends you right back home.

Even if it's only for a season, it's a funny thing and doesn't always make sense. But God cares more about us and the condition of our hearts than he does about our location or what we do for him.

So I'm homeward bound for a week... or two... or maybe much more.