isaiah 58

Is such the fast that I choose,
a day for a person to humble himself?
Is it to bow down his head like a reed,
and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him?
Will you call this a fast,
and a day acceptable to the Lord?

“Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.

photo links.

Here are a few photo albums of what we've been doing recently.  Click on each title to go to the album on Facebook.

A sidewalk Sunday School in Takaloma that I help with every other Sunday

Trip to a park with Sulma and her boys

Health Fair at Takaloma on 10/24

Sulma and boys visit my house on Sunday

ch-ch-ch-changes.

I think part of the reason I keep a blog is for the purpose of having a quick artistic outlet.  I change the colors and theme about as often as I post an update....

cute babies.

Here are few photos of mommas and babies at the home for couples from the streets...

nice kid killer.

I ran into M on Espana Street tonight and offered to buy him some food.  He tends to move around the city often, and I'm never really sure when and where I'll run into him.  But lately, I've enjoyed seeing him most evenings in town where he goes to wash windows and pick-pocket on the side.

We bought some greasy food from a street vendor and sat down in the Plaza Colon to have a chat.  I asked how things have been going for him, and he filled me in on some bridge rivalries and fights.  The bridge he's at is fighting with the the kids from America Avenue (my bridge) because the America kids are starting to smoke crack more and more, but instead of buying it from M's bridge, they purchase it elsewhere.  On the streets, that's reason enough for a knife fight.  So M gave me all the details on who got cut and where.  I said they should just sell it for a little cheaper, but street kids aren't really business savvy.

I was able to talk with him a little bit about just how unnecessary and unfortunate all that violence is...  I know that it's "kill or be killed" on the streets (sometimes literally, sometimes not), and I asked him what he thought about all that.  He looked at me sincerely and said he's sick of it and wants to go home, but like all street kids, he had several reasons why he couldn't go home tonight...

At one point he asked me if I knew that Vladimir had died, which of course I did (see here).  His death is actually one of two suicides (see here for the other) from last October that were very difficult for me to deal with.  One of several things I did in order to seek healing and wholeness while I was home in the US was to work through those tragedies with a great Christian counselor.  And it's only because of his help and the way the Lord has healed my heart that I was able to have the following conversation with M:

(It's a little graphic... )

I had heard a lot of rumors about how Vladimir ended up in hospital Viedma, but had never spoken to anyone who was with him when everything went down.  But M was with there and was part of the fight, and tonight I heard the whole story.

M told me that Vladi had this girlfriend (on the streets, girlfriends cause enormous amounts of trouble) who cheated on him with a guy from La Paz called Paceno.  Well, one night when M was with Vladi downtown, they went over to confront and fight Paceno over the girl.  During the fight, Paceno pulled out a knife with a 6" blade and stabbed/sliced Vladi in the stomach.  M said that Vladi's intestines spilled out and that there was blood everywhere.

After that, Paceno took off running, but M and the other guys who were with Vladi chased him down.  They took his knife and stabbed him repeatedly in the stomach, in the lungs, in the heart...  M said he died right there on the street.  (I hadn't heard any of that.)  Then, the guys put Vladi in a taxi and took him to Viedma, where he was recovering for 2 weeks before he jumped out of the window.

I was a little bit shocked sitting next to M while he was telling me all this, just because I have never thought of him as a violent guy.  In fact, he was one of the boys that always went to church with me...  I told him what I was thinking...  He said that he's not violent, but that he has to protect his friends.  That's just how the streets are.

Nice kids can be killers.

We talked in depth about what it would take to get him off the streets and how I could help.  His mom and dad would be happy to have him return, but he's not from a particularly stable family.  His dad works out in the country, and his mom cooks and sells food at cock fights.  Even so, it's better than the dangerous life he's leading on the streets.

And we finished by talking about the life God has for him...   M said he prays often and asks the Lord to forgive the things he's done because he knows that they're wrong.  We discussed God's grace and love and mercy...  And I told him a little bit about my relationship with God and about how we can know and love God like we know and love a person...

It was a good, long conversation, and M asked if I'd come talk to him more tomorrow.  I'm planning to do so...

So please be praying for M... for safety, because the devil hits hard as soon as the kids start turning towards the Lord... for an open heart... and for a desire to change.

ernst haeckel

I recently discovered the beautiful artwork of Ernst Haeckel, the German biologist, naturalist, philosopher, physician, professor, and artist who published these beautiful illustrations in 1904.

I thought they were worth sharing (especially the first one!).

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved.

Romans 8:19-24

sisu.

dry bones.

My soul cries out
My soul cries out for You

These bones cry out

These dry bones cry for You

To live and move

Only You

Can raise the dead

Lift my head up

Jesus, You’re the one who saves us

Constantly creates us into something new

Jesus surely you will find us

Surely our Messiah will make all things new

Will make all things new

Life is breaking out

Is breaking out

Life is breaking out

Is breaking out

Is breaking out 

love embodied.

I was thinking the other day how I would title this chapter of life... And, well, I decided that these past few months aren't really a chapter of my life, they are a whole new book made up of all sorts of little chapters. I think the title of the book should be Metamorphosis... And I think I'd like to title one the chapters, which I'm currently living, something like this: Being Infused With a Supernatural Love.

I see how impossible it is to live the love that Christ calls us to unless we die to ourselves and are infused with a supernatural love.

Paul's first letter to the Corinthian church, 13:4-7 (ESV)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In light of Jesus' call for us to die to ourselves, what do these character traits of love look like?

Being patient means dying to the desire of an untroubled life.

Being kind means dying to the fear that others may not return that kindness.

Having no envy means dying to the desire for unshared affection.

Not boasting means dying to the desire to call attention to our successes.

Not being rude means dying to the desire to express our freedom offensively.

Not insisting on your own way means dying to the dominance of our own preferences.

Not being irritable or resentful means dying to the need for no frustrations.

Not rejoicing at wrongdoing means dying to the desire to see others "get what they deserve."

Bearing or enduring all things means dying to the desire to run away from the pain of obedience.

And if we die to these things, then what do we live to?

Being patient means being willing to enter the situations that are difficult because we believe in the power of the Spirit.

Being kind means living to shower all of the undeserved kindness we receive from God on others.

Having no envy means living to rejoice in what God gives others.

Not boasting means living in the freedom to boast about God and what he has done through others.

Not being rude means living with others in such a way that your freedom is used to build them up and not your own sinful desires.

Not insisting on your own way means living in the confidence that "I live now in Christ's way, trusting that the sovereign God, who is my Father, will always guide me down the right path."

Not being irritable or resentful means living to bring grace into every situation like Jesus did.

Not rejoicing at wrongdoing means living in such a way that others see mercy from us when so many want to give them justice.

Bearing and enduring all things means living unafraid of pain because we know that God uses pain to make us more and more into the image of his son.

When everything else in this world eventually comes to an end, love will not. It is eternal. Just think how radically we could live on this earth earth if we lived in light of eternity!

Those lists are from a message I listened to the other day by one of the elders from Cornerstone, Francis Chan's church in California, Todd Nighswonger, and the message is called Love Embodied. You can find the video podcast on the website: www.cornerstonesimi.com under the "media" tab on the left.

42 airplanes.

I'm sitting in the Salt Lake City airport on my way to visit friends in Portland, Oregon. I take back the disparaging thoughts I've had about Utah because it looks surprisingly beautiful out the window with snowcapped mountains and bright blue skies.

On the flight over here from Chicago, I added up (with the help of pen and paper) the number of airplanes that I've been on in the last 6 months and came up with a grand total of 42 airplanes. Of course, many of those were connecting flights, and I didn't even pay for half of them... But that's a lot of traveling, especially considering that during those 6 months I made 7 trips between the US and Bolivia.

I want to share a video that a friend posted on Facebook a few days ago that got me thinking about all this traveling...

It's been a process, but God's been opening my eyes to how lost and hurting people are here, despite appearances... It's impossible to miss noticing just how much people need God in Bolivia, but somehow I've overlooked it here in America. Or maybe I've just not been sensitive... I encounter so many people in this nomadic life I'm living, and I tend to see right past them without ever noticing them. I travel with an ipod and book, lost in my own world. Such a shame to have wasted so many opportunities to share truth and love with people. But I'm encouraged by this new insight to be bold and to reach out to people, and I'm so thankful that God still continues to shape and mold my heart.

homeward bound.

It's a funny thing when you're willing to go anywhere and do anything that God asks... to love and help the poorest of the poor... to give up comforts and leave behind friends or family... to contract scabies and parasites... to witness death and utter despair... to give all of your time, money, and love away... And instead of taking you to the ends of the earth, God sends you right back home.

Even if it's only for a season, it's a funny thing and doesn't always make sense. But God cares more about us and the condition of our hearts than he does about our location or what we do for him.

So I'm homeward bound for a week... or two... or maybe much more.

18 days

18 days into a 4 month furlough, and I'm studying the Word and seeking new life from the Creator.

All Creatures

by Josh Garrels

All creatures of our God and King,

Lift up your voice and let us sing

O Praise Him! O Praise Him!

Alleluia

Creation sent to me the centipede

to witness the complexity

of one hundred legs that were moving unexpectedly

ironically

just as they were meant to be,

they’re fearfully and wonderfully made;

An organism praised in circadian rhythms:

the sun will rise and then the sun will set, and then the sun will rise again,

so lift up your head!

this is life: not a static object preserved and displayed like a relic from the dead

You are not a fruitless tree with a rootless disease

growin’ in a bucket in a rich man’s home

next to the TV tamed and alone

learnin’ to lust for the things you don’t own

like an arm chair warrior who’s been dethroned

Declawed and fixed

fighting for you life with unattended slit wrists.

Don’t let your name get intermingled with the number cause its time to awaken from the devilish slumber,

to freely follow the Forerunner

to the fatherland and rally round the renaissance man

and the wisdom of His ways

and all the work of His hands

catch come as catch can

concentrating on the good words of the Son of Man,

the plan is to withstand the demands of a confused oppressor:

a wolf in sheep’s clothes

with monotonous lectures

and questionable gestures

unequal measures

cultural pressures

and synthetic textures

force fed instead of the most beautiful architecture

of our long lost, forgotten origins:

Unseen fiber in the blood of my King

And that old rock where we confessed our sins

Oh, my God, fellow man

in this great land they all cry out for

full restoration

and this will take

patience

AND THIS WILL TAKE THE TRIBES

AND THE TONGUES OF ALL THE NATIONS

and all of creation groans in anticipation

Waitin’ for the Son of God to be manifest

I can feel it burnin’ in my chest

The liberation for the oppressed

And it’s beautiful like the feet that bring good news…

Its beautiful like this freedom tune

Its beautiful like the power to choose…to change

Beautiful like the long awaited rain

Beautiful like the healing pains

Beautiful like the holy flames…coming down!

All creatures of our God and King

Lift up your voice and with us sing

O Praise Him! O Praise Him!

Alleluia….

new post.

I'm still alive.

I was away from Bolivia for just about 4 weeks visiting the US.

News to come!

la bebita.

One of the girls from the bridge gave birth to a precious little girl on Sunday afternoon, and we're all so excited. I feel super invested in this baby's life because we found out together that she was pregnant, and I've been with her every step of the way. Except for just about 3 weeks, she lived on the streets the entire time she was pregnant. So it's pretty miraculous that she carried her daughter for 38 weeks and that she was born completely healthy. Praise God!

She and the baby moved into her mom's house out in the campo. They own their house, but it's the size of a closet - maybe 10' by 10' if not smaller. And it's mostly made out of bricks and mortar but not finished. The corners are open, and in some places the bricks are just stacked together without any mortar. They have a dirt floor, but since it's been pouring rain every day, their floor is pure mud. On one half of the room, they have a stack of bricks and random pieces of wood that they've covered with foam and blankets. The mom has 3 other kids besides her teenage daughter and new granddaughter, so the 5 of them plus the baby sleep there together.

The conditions are terrible, but that's all they can afford. And the mother/grandmother is a kind, caring woman. She used to live on the streets years ago, but her life has really turned around since then. She's incredibly excited and proud to be a grandmother and has so much she can teach her daughter about being a mother, which is a HUGE blessing.

Here are a few photos:

creativity.

I love how the rainy season always brings out a crazy amount of creativity in the kids. On rainy days, water flows down the canal where they live, so they're forced to find another house.

See last year's rainy season photo here: Hole in the Wall.

This year, they made a tent on the side of the canal and filled it with discarded mattresses and foam bits that they scavenged from garbage piles.

a song for pilgrims ascending to jerusalem.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

We're pilgrims passing through this world on our way to Zion... We emanate light, life, and hope in this dark place... But we're in hostile territory, and the more we shine in this world, the more the Enemy tries to destroy us...

I'm currently very much aware of the constant danger my loved ones live in - whether they're here or in Kansas...

But the Maker of heaven and earth, the One who created everything that is, will and does protect us from all harm...

void.

I had a chat with a friend yesterday about street kid ministry. She's starting something with a group of kids that live at another bridge, and God's given her some wide open doors to build relationships. It's really exciting to me!

We got together to talk about that, about some of my experiences, and about methods for doing this ministry. It made me realize that I still have more questions and concerns than answers or inspired ideas.

Because of the hundreds and hundreds of hours I've spent with the kids, I feel like I really understand them. I understand how they think and view the world. I know what motivates them and what controls them. I know where they go and what they do and why they do it. But I still don't feel like I have any kind of simple solution for how to best help them leave behind the streets because when I look at the problem, all I see is a huge void where the Church should be. I'm just always reminded how lost and hurting this world is, and it absolutely breaks my heart that so many of us who say we are Believers choose to ignore and avoid the spiritual battleground that's right in front of us.

And I am mostly convinced that nothing will ever change in Bolivia until the Church starts doing her job. It's not about another center or home... What the kids need - what the world needs - is a devoted community of believers that will bear each other's burdens, care for the hurting and forgotten ones, love unreservedly, and confront evil social systems. It's not a utopian dream but something to fight for.

Anyway, here are some photos with a couple of the boys:

1 week back.

I'm still running into kids that I haven't seen since I got back to Coch last Monday... Today, I was crossing an intersection on the concrete median of a divided road (I actually have a picture of the intersection, thanks to my mom) when three boys, who I hadn't seen yet, came running, jumped on me, and about tackled me in the middle of rush hour traffic. Some of the drivers thought I was being attacked until I gave the kids big bear hugs and smooches on their cheeks.

And here are just a few photos of us hanging out in the plaza near where they wash windows...

sprouting.

I was thinking that it'd be good to sum up last year, but I don't even know where to begin. In my mind, I see it as a tangled mess of new life, tragedy, hope/hopelessness, confusion, and growth.

Looking back, I think that more than any other year, 2009 is the year that changed my life...and continues changing my life. I still have a lot left to untangle in my mind, but I'm grateful for the times of joy as well as the times of pain... for new friends as well as for old friends who've faded off into the distance... for the times of unknowing and searching as well as the times of clear direction and certainty that God was and always is leading the way... for new life and for the lessons I've learned through death... for my times of weakness that have opened me up to receiving unimaginable strength from the Father... and for the peace that I feel now looking ahead at 2010.

I found a beautiful, supportive community here last year and saw first hand just how much believers cannot live with out each other. If our triune God is community, why do we try to live independent, self-sufficient lives? Not that there was ever any question in my mind before, but I see even more clearly now just how priceless relationships based on complete trust, openness, and commitment are.

I feel like my ministry and relationships with the kids just sprouted roots last year. The plants are teeny-tiny, and there's not really any fruit yet, but the roots are solid and firm in the soil. This year will bring growth, fruit...and joy instead of heartache.

A good friend gave me scripture as a prophecy for what's to come this year. I'm posting the version from the Message...

Isaiah 61:1-11

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.

He sent me to preach good news to the poor,

heal the heartbroken,

Announce freedom to all captives,

pardon all prisoners.

God sent me to announce the year of his grace—

a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies—

and to comfort all who mourn,

To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,

give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,

Messages of joy instead of news of doom,

a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.

Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness"

planted by God to display his glory.

They'll rebuild the old ruins,

raise a new city out of the wreckage.

They'll start over on the ruined cities,

take the rubble left behind and make it new.

You'll hire outsiders to herd your flocks

and foreigners to work your fields,

But you'll have the title "Priests of God,"

honored as ministers of our God.

You'll feast on the bounty of nations,

you'll bask in their glory.

Because you got a double dose of trouble

and more than your share of contempt,

Your inheritance in the land will be doubled

and your joy go on forever.

"Because I, God, love fair dealing

and hate thievery and crime,

I'll pay your wages on time and in full,

and establish my eternal covenant with you.

Your descendants will become well-known all over.

Your children in foreign countries

Will be recognized at once

as the people I have blessed."

I will sing for joy in God,

explode in praise from deep in my soul!

He dressed me up in a suit of salvation,

he outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,

As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo

and a bride a jeweled tiara.

For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,

and as a garden cascades with blossoms,

So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom

and puts praise on display before the nations.

I don't know where God will take me this year, but I trust Him completely and am trying to totally surrender my life to His purpose every moment of every day. And no matter how many times I completely blow it, He still wants me and uses me.