sprouting.

I was thinking that it'd be good to sum up last year, but I don't even know where to begin. In my mind, I see it as a tangled mess of new life, tragedy, hope/hopelessness, confusion, and growth.

Looking back, I think that more than any other year, 2009 is the year that changed my life...and continues changing my life. I still have a lot left to untangle in my mind, but I'm grateful for the times of joy as well as the times of pain... for new friends as well as for old friends who've faded off into the distance... for the times of unknowing and searching as well as the times of clear direction and certainty that God was and always is leading the way... for new life and for the lessons I've learned through death... for my times of weakness that have opened me up to receiving unimaginable strength from the Father... and for the peace that I feel now looking ahead at 2010.

I found a beautiful, supportive community here last year and saw first hand just how much believers cannot live with out each other. If our triune God is community, why do we try to live independent, self-sufficient lives? Not that there was ever any question in my mind before, but I see even more clearly now just how priceless relationships based on complete trust, openness, and commitment are.

I feel like my ministry and relationships with the kids just sprouted roots last year. The plants are teeny-tiny, and there's not really any fruit yet, but the roots are solid and firm in the soil. This year will bring growth, fruit...and joy instead of heartache.

A good friend gave me scripture as a prophecy for what's to come this year. I'm posting the version from the Message...

Isaiah 61:1-11

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.

He sent me to preach good news to the poor,

heal the heartbroken,

Announce freedom to all captives,

pardon all prisoners.

God sent me to announce the year of his grace—

a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies—

and to comfort all who mourn,

To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,

give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,

Messages of joy instead of news of doom,

a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.

Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness"

planted by God to display his glory.

They'll rebuild the old ruins,

raise a new city out of the wreckage.

They'll start over on the ruined cities,

take the rubble left behind and make it new.

You'll hire outsiders to herd your flocks

and foreigners to work your fields,

But you'll have the title "Priests of God,"

honored as ministers of our God.

You'll feast on the bounty of nations,

you'll bask in their glory.

Because you got a double dose of trouble

and more than your share of contempt,

Your inheritance in the land will be doubled

and your joy go on forever.

"Because I, God, love fair dealing

and hate thievery and crime,

I'll pay your wages on time and in full,

and establish my eternal covenant with you.

Your descendants will become well-known all over.

Your children in foreign countries

Will be recognized at once

as the people I have blessed."

I will sing for joy in God,

explode in praise from deep in my soul!

He dressed me up in a suit of salvation,

he outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,

As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo

and a bride a jeweled tiara.

For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,

and as a garden cascades with blossoms,

So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom

and puts praise on display before the nations.

I don't know where God will take me this year, but I trust Him completely and am trying to totally surrender my life to His purpose every moment of every day. And no matter how many times I completely blow it, He still wants me and uses me.