Sorry for the lack of updates.  I've been busy.

I made a website for the ministry and am busy trying to spread the word about the community house.  I'll be starting a new blog in the very near future with the purpose of creating a space for updates from myself and from my volunteers.  I'll keep everyone posted...

Peace.

update on little j.

Little J is doing so much better!  Both of his eyes are open, and his head is no longer swollen.  Some of the scabs on his forehead are gone, revealing new pink skin.  And he was up walking around the burn unit with his IV in tow today.

I'm really encouraged!  Thanks for praying!

The head nurse and I are conspiring to keep J as far away as possible from the home, San Benito, where this horrible accident happened.  The nurse and I have both heard awful stories about the home, and they've been very neglectful of J, dropping him off and not checking back for a week.  His parents also have only come to visit once...

Please keep praying for J.  There is still a long road ahead...


***UPDATE 6/3/11


J was in enormous amounts of pain yesterday after an operation on his left arm...

Today, they apparently did some skin grafting...  Based on his reaction and pain yesterday, the doctors have decided to keep J unconscious in the ICU for a couple of days.  So I won't see him until Monday at the earliest.

Please keep praying for him!

success.

I think I have really big dreams and high expectations for the kids, and I can't settle for just helping them survive or making their lives more bearable on the streets.  Granted, there's room and need for every type of ministry to street-dwelling kids, for sure.  But my focus is on individual life transformation, and it's wholly dependent on a heart change and a relationship with the Lord.  So I measure success differently than other people who work with the kids.

Although I stop in at the bridges to visit the kids still living on the streets and to keep up relationships, my time and efforts are mostly focused on the two couples with babies who have recently left the streets behind: Patty and Efrain, Zulma and Gary.

The fact that they're living in rooms out in the country is surely something to be celebrated, especially considering that each of them was on the streets not that long ago.  I'm so proud of them.  But I fully believe that eking out an existence in the campo is not all that God has for them.  He wants the kids to know Him and love Him, and He wants to give them abundant life.  

I think He wants us to dream big and trust Him to transform lives.

When the girls come to my house, Casa Koinonia, several days a week, one of the things I try to do is spend time talking and praying with each of them individually.  And the one thing that most encourages me out of everything that I've seen, experienced, and done in all of my years in Bolivia is seeing small traces and hints of character growth in the girls... living evidence of the Potter shaping their hearts...

Zulma absolutely blesses my heart on a daily basis.  She is so full of goodness and kindness, and she works so hard at being a good mother to her two babies.  The one area of her life where we've been working is her impulsiveness and short temper, especially in her relationship with Gary.  He doesn't always make good choices, and because of that they've had some crazy and violent fights in the past... in front of their 3 year old and 1 year old.  So we do a lot of relationship counseling here, and I try to pour into Zulma's life as a mentor.

(Pray for a guy to come be a mentor to Gary and Efrain!!!)

In the last couple of months, I have seen so much evidence of God working in her heart and life...  She is developing patience and making the effort to show love and handle conflicts in a mature way.  Their fights used to end in one of them escaping to the streets for a night or two.  I'd have to go hunt them down and then pray and talk with them individually and as a couple...  It would take at least a week to get through the initial problem and recover from the fight.  But lately, these kinds of conflicts have not been happening, and I see it as clear evidence that the Holy Spirit is moving in their hearts.

For example, Zulma got really upset with Gary the other day, but instead of yelling and fighting in front of the babies, she chose to handle things differently.  She didn't allow her emotions or temper to control her.  She waited until things calmed down and the babies went to bed, and then she talked with Gary... and he apologized!  The next day, they came over and we worked through the problelm.  No running off to the streets, no relying on drugs to calm their emotions, no screaming and no yelling...

Character growth like that paints a beautiful picture of God working in her heart.  These are the things we should celebrate.  And this is why I'm in Bolivia... and why I'm starting Casa Koinonia.

bichos, car wrecks, & miracles.

Bichos have struck again.

Three weeks ago, I was in the hospital because some kind of amoeba had taken up residence in my intestines.  I left more or less without doctor's approval (I just can't afford financially to be sick!) but was given a plethora of medication to take, pretty much guaranteeing that no amoeba, parasite, or random disease would survive inside of me.

But here we are, three weeks later, and I'm sick again... or still.

I've had amoebas more times than I can count.  These things just happen when you spend your days in some of the filthiest places in the city...  But two different times, God chose to miraculously heal me.  Once was at the annual business meeting at Risen Savior Assembly following a 3 week trip to Bolivia.  (Guess how we promote the business meeting now!)  And the other time was in 2009 after a 6 month battle with amoebic cysts.  I have lab work to prove it, oh ye of little faith.  :)

It's been an interesting month.

In between my bicho outbreaks, I almost died in a car wreck 4100 meters up in the Andes two weeks ago.

I was traveling back from a 3 day trip to La Paz with my friend Ken, two of his volunteers, and one of the boys from his project in Santa Cruz when our breaks went out on the way down the mountain...  We swerved to avoid running into the back of a semi and hit a car head-on, which sent us careening down the side of the mountain.  It was literally the most terrifying and surreal moment of my life.  I'd write it out play-by-play, but Ken already did that... and better than I could  You can read the details of the wreck here: Ken's blog about our accident.

This photo doesn't do it justice, but you can kind of see the mountain we went down...

That rock I'm sitting on was part of a pile of rocks we ran into that rolled down the mountain with us.  We landed on the only flat-ish part of the mountainside, and you can see the drop off right in front of us.

Towing the truck up the following day.

A lot of really cool and miraculous things happened to keep us alive...  And a lot of people miraculously knew to pray for us at the exact time we were falling down the mountain.  Read Ken's blog.  It's an incredible story of God's protection.  We should all be dead.

I was really upset and unsettled for a day or two after the wreck.  Even now, two weeks later, remembering the second we went over the side of the mountain sends a cold shiver down my spine.  But at the end of everything, I've come to a much deeper level of understanding that there is no safer place to be than in the hands of the Father.  This life is so fragile!  And no matter what I do - from the food I eat to the plans I make - I really have no control over what happens to me.  But God does!  And knowing that my life and future rest in His hands gives me a profound sense of peace.

little j.

Please pray for J, the little guy on the left...  He was staying at a home for boys from the streets last week when he slipped in the kitchen and ended up knocking over a pot of boiling grease.  It spilled all over him, burning his face, head, neck, and arms.  I went to see him today at the hospital, and he is unrecognizable.  It looks like his eyes are both okay, but his head is very swollen and covered in bloody, oozing wounds.  His arms are mostly bandaged, and one ear is really bad...

Workers from the home dropped him off at the hospital on Thursday but haven't even returned to check on him.  And children's services hasn't gotten involved, yet...  This is all just guaranteeing him poor care during the many weeks that he will have to spend in the hospital unless someone fights for him.

He needs a lot of prayer!

And we may need to help financially long-term.  Unfortunately, as of right now, we have no money at all...  So please be praying about that, too!

fluidity.

Life is different here every day...  Survival is based on your ability to live a fluid life.

Ministry on the streets is different always...  It's almost impossible to plan anything more than a few hours in advance, and weekly schedules are pretty much impractical.  Even the kids who are borderline-off the streets... their lives are so full of mini-crises that it makes weekly schedules next to impossible to keep.

People come and go... backpackers, volunteers, missionaries...  You learn to love people and enjoy the time you have until life sends them elsewhere and new folks arrive. And if you let your guard down a little, the beautiful medley of people who pass through here, who've experienced life from a different angle, will enrich and refine your worldview.

This all works well for me. I thrive on change and find myself dreadfully bored with consistency.

A work update:

I've been spending more time out on the streets lately...  The group of kids that I've been working with for about 3 years now has scattered all over the city.  So I'm now visiting groups at different bridges and parks all over town...  It's so much more work...  I've been bringing a couple of Canadian girls along with me a few days a week.  They're both thinking about the possibility of coming back to live at Casa Koinonia early next year to join me in working with the street kids.   

The couples with the babies are doing okay...  Not good or bad, just okay.  They come to the house several times a week...  I spend a lot of time counseling them because there seems to be a new problem every week.  But every time I plan a Bible study/discipleship thing with the girls, something comes up... a fight, a sick baby, a family crisis...  It's so clearly the devil fighting against us...

My cleaning lady and teenage daughters are going through some really difficult times.  They moved into Casa Koinonia in February, and I've been helping to support them.  They needed to get away from a horrible husband/father, but the situation continues to get more complicated...  The girls are dealing with pretty severe depression...  Miriam is fighting hard to adapt to a new and more independent life, but it's a serious struggle...

So everyday is different, and it's so hard to measure progress.  I'm trying to set small goals... to have something sort of specific to be working towards.  But people's lives are messy...  I think it's really just a matter of being able to go with the flow while staying connected to the leading of the Holy Spirit...  Without his guidance, the street kids would end up running my life.

(Have you seen the photo albums on the right side of this page???)

night owl.

I keep thinking I'm going to sit down and catch up on all the things I should have been blogging about over the past few of months, but I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm just never going to have time to do that...  So I'll just write about yesterday.

I've been staying up and out way too late recently, but it's been surprisingly conducive to hanging out with some night owl street kids that I don't see during the day.  Nighttime street work is a whole different ball game and another reason why I need some male volunteers (hint, hint).

Last night, I had left a restaurant and was walking with a friend through the pretty, tree-lined street of el Prado lost in conversation about faith and life when I ran into 13 year old J again.  He's a sweet and pleasant kid with a smile that will melt your heart...  It's definitely melted mine, and although I care about all the kids, J is really special to me...  I've known him for about 3 years now, and we've spent lots of time chatting over ice cream and hanging out.  He gives me great big bear hugs every time I see him.  And because he's super little, he always jumps on my back and begs me to give him piggyback rides... which I do.  (I get some weird looks for that, by the way, walking along the busy avenue with a filthy street kid on my back...)  I've tried everything I can think of to get him away from the street, but he always goes back.  Clefa, the glue they sniff, is psychologically addictive, and he's hooked big time.

J had been back visiting his family but left earlier yesterday evening because his family situation is a mess.  This time, he brought his younger brother, M, with him to the streets.  They bought 2 little bottles of glue and took off through the city...  That's when I ran into them in el Prado at 1am.

We sat on a park bench and talked for a while...  A wave of older street guys seemed to pass by, some of them asking for money and then stumbling away muttering death threats when I told them I was out of coins.  I didn't stay too long, but I left J with my phone number again and made plans to take him and his brother out on Saturday for his 14th birthday.  I had them promise to call me for any reason whatsoever at any hour of the day or night.

I walked away, continuing the conversation I had been having with my friend, but I haven't been able to get J out of my mind.  He was in my dreams last night.  I'm worried.

In the past, I've lived here in an unhealthy, perpetual state of worry.  It didn't matter how much I prayed for the kids and tried to surrender the concern to GOD knowing that He cares more about them than I ever could...  my heart and emotions were overly involved in their lives, and I always had inside of me a little sliver of worry and fear about what would happen to them.  They were like my children on some level.  My heart would jump every time the phone rang.  And after the many times that the kids showed up at my front gate at 4:00am with emergencies or news about someone's death, I was full on terrified of my door bell...

So I'm praying for J... because I feel that little sliver of ice cold dread and worry building up inside...  I wish I could just bring him here...

the core group.

A few years back, when I first started ministry out on the streets, these kids were all on drugs and living in a canal under a bridge...  

These first few photos are of a little family that I've been working with since 2009.  There have been a lot of ups and downs, and it's a still a daily struggle, but they're fighting for a different life.  We're working on teaching them how to be a family... learning to communicate and trust, as well as discover the life God has for them off the streets...  I got them set up in a room way out in the campo, and we (my supporters and I) are helping support them until they get on their feet.  

Please keep them in your prayers.  Zulma has a hungry heart for the Lord and a sincere disdain for the life she used to live.  Gary's not quite there yet, but he's really trying...

Zulma and their 3 year old son, Miguelito, coloring at my kitchen table

Gary and their 1 year old son, Juan Marcelito

Me, Zulma, and little Juan at Cafe Xelda

Zulma, Gary, Juan Marcelo, and Miguel (sleeping on Zulma's back) at Gary's work

I've also been spending a lot of time with Zulma's older sister Patty.  She was the first street-dwelling kid that I got know back in 2008, and I love her like crazy.  

Patty was living in Argentina with her long-term boyfriend, Efrain, all of last year but came back to Bolivia to give birth to their first baby boy (born in January) and has been living with the girls' family out in the campo since December.  Efrain arrived in Cochabamba this past Friday, and I'm currently helping him find a job and a room for them to live in.  

Please be praying for them.  They want a normal life.  Efrain has a violent history (he attacked me more than once), but I know in my heart that there is a strong calling from the Lord on on his life.  BIG things will happen when God gets a hold of his heart.  I love these guys, and although they are doing really well right now, they need a lot or prayer support.

Patty and her baby with her mom (in the hat) and some of her siblings

Patty and baby at my house

Out for ice cream with Patty and Efrain last year

quick update.

I'm loving how God is creating this community!  Nothing has been predictable...  It's exhilarating to rely on Him to pull this thing together.  More than ever before in my life, I'm learning that relying on God wholeheartedly is something that takes some serious discipline and constant prayer.  It'd be easy to just do things my way and make decisions that make the most sense, but I'm not the boss.  I've had several opportunities to move some folks in who would have helped with the rent and other expenses, but God made it really clear that that wasn't part of His plan for this place.  Instead, I'm moving in people who I will have to help support with money that I don't really have.  It doesn't make sense, but God said to do it... so here we go!

Tomorrow, my cleaning lady and her two teenage daughters are moving into our community (which currently consists of me and the two dogs).  They need to escape a really bad situation with the husband/father, and I have the space to offer them right now.  They have nothing and no money, so we're praying that God multiply the fish and the loaves.  The girls are sweet but troubled because of the situation they've been living in.  They need a lot of help, guidance, and support...  They've been dealing with some depression and are starting to get mixed up in some pretty dangerous stuff.  They're not street girls, but people are people.  And right now these are the people God is bringing to Casa Koinonia.

I'm still working with Zulma and her two babies, but she has chosen to rent a room with her boyfriend for the time being.  They're off the streets, but it's not the best situation.  I'm still spending much time with her and the kiddos, and I'm really just waiting for the next big crisis so I can scoop them up and bring them here.  Be praying about this.

Also, I'm probably going to have to start doing some fundraising.  Honestly, even though I drag my feet when it comes to communication and fundraising, God has been providing for this community house is some pretty insane ways...  And we have money to finish up Carolina's house out in the campo thanks to a wonderful church in Kentucky!  I could not be more excited!  More about all of that soon...

My friend Ken and one of the guys from his house in Santa Cruz came up for a visit and brought us some living room furniture!  We also picked up some ceiling lamps, which the guys installed, and a washing machine for the community house (check out the photo albums!)  I'm kind of going with the "if you build it, they will come" mentality, and I'm praying like crazy for some more volunteers.

There's a lot happening, and honestly, I'm having to make some difficult and somewhat unpopular decisions that affect people's lives...  But I'm holding tightly to the Bible as my guide and moral absolute and praying that God's voice be loud and clear.  I'm trying to take a backseat here and let Him be in control of all that happens...  Please keep Casa Koinonia and all the people who's lives are connected to this community in your prayers.

koinonia, pt. 1

We need each other.  I could probably write pages in support of that statement, but I think it's something that most people agree on.  We are just simply not made to do life alone.  From the time that we're teeny-tiny babies, we long for love, relationship, and security.

Those tiny little baby minds and baby hearts learn early on whether or not they are safe and loved.  But what happens when that baby isn't safe and isn't loved?  What happens when that baby turns into a neglected little toddler who has already learned that crying doesn't do any good and nobody cares that he's hungry?  Within the first few years of his life, he's already learned to shut down his emotions and never sheds a tear.  He becomes withdrawn.  He grows up not trusting anyone or depending on anyone.  He lives day to day, not sure who would really care if he were to disappear tomorrow.  He doesn't know how to love or be loved. When his emotions break through to the surface, he can't control them, and he doesn't understand them.  He surrounds himself with people like himself until his group self-destructs.  And the worst thing is that he is doomed to repeat the cycle when he inevitably has a child of his own.

At the very core level, I want to teach the kids on the streets love.  And it can't be a love that comes from humans because we screw up.  We screw up big time.  This country is full of the evidence of how humanity has screwed up.  Just look around.  Crippled old grannies begging for coins on the streets...  Three year olds trained to sing and dance for handouts from the tourists...  Toxic rivers and garbage covered streets...  Starving dogs on every block...  Six year old girls selling candy and cigarettes to drunk men in the bars all night long...

Everything about this is wrong.  But don't think that Bolivia is some exception.  Things are different but equally bad everywhere else.

I think that we as humans have been robbed of love.  We're lost and hurting, and deep down inside we are looking for what we're missing: love... relationship and safety.  It's the first thing we long for when we're born...  We scream and cry for Mom's love and comfort.  It's ingrained in us, I think, because we're made in God's image.

And God is love.  

And God is community.  

And that's what we're created for: love and community with God and with one another.  It's simple.

So I have this wild idea to take those babies who have never known love and who've grown up into lost and hurting adults, and bring them into community... into love.  And Casa Koinonia will be just that: community and love.

Yeah, we're human, and we'll mess up for sure.  But we'll try really hard to stop trying... to stop doing it all ourselves and relying on our own understanding.  Instead, we'll try really hard to lean on the Holy Spirit and trust him to guide us and make us more loving everyday...

The more we know God and spend time with him, the more his love will wear off on us, and the more those babies (now adults) will understand love and understand God.  And their lives will change forever.