Tuesday, December 29, 2009

the lady.

Redeemed, she had enough joy in her little finger to "waken all the dead things of the universe into life." I strive to be a woman such as this lady...


Some kind of procession was approaching us, and the light came from the persons who composed it.


First came bright Spirits, not the Spirits of men, who danced and scattered flowers—soundlessly falling, lightly drifting flowers, though by the standards of the ghost-world each petal would have weighed a hundred-weight and their fall would have been like the crashing of boulders. Then, on the left and right, at each side of the forest avenue, came youthful shapes, boys upon one hand, and girls upon the other. If I could remember their singing and write down the notes, no man who read that score would ever grow sick or old. Between theme went musicians: and after these a lady in whose honour all this was being done.


I cannot now remember whether she was naked or clothed. If she were naked, then it must have been the almost visible penumbra of her courtesy and joy which produces in my memory the illusion of a great and shining train that followed her across the happy grass. If she were clothed, then the illusion of nakedness is doubtless due to the clarity with which her inmost spirit shone through the clothes. For clothes in that country are not a disguise: the spiritual body lives along each thread and turns them into living organs. A robe or a crown is there as much one of the wearer’s features as a lip or an eye.


But I have forgotten. And only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face.


“Is it? … is it?” I whispered to my guide.


“Not at all,” said he. “It’s someone ye’ll never have heard of. Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golders Green.”


“She seems to be … well, a person of particular importance?”


“Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.”


“And who are these gigantic people… look! They’re like emeralds… who are dancing and throwing flowers before her?”


“Haven’t ye read your Milton? A thousand liveried angels lackey her.“


“And who are all these young men and women on each side?”


“They are her sons and daughters.”


“She must have had a very large family, Sir.”


“Every young man or boy that met her became her son—even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.”


“Isn’t that a bit hard on their own parents?”


“No. There are those that steal other people’s children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer to their own wives.”


“And how… but hullo! What are all these animals? A cat—two cats—dozens of cats. And all those dogs… why, I can’t count them. And the birds. And the horses.”


“They are her beasts.”


“Did she keep a sort of zoo? I mean, this is a bit too much.”


“Every beast and bird that came near her had its place in her love. In her they became themselves. And now the abundance of life she has in Christ from the Father flows over into them.”


I looked at my Teacher in amazement.


“Yes,” he said. “It is like when you throw a stone into a pool, and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? Redeemed humanity is still young, it has hardly come to its full strength. But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as yonder lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life.”


(Taken from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, chapter 12)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

merry christmas eve.

This is the big celebration day in Bolivia.

Some the street kids will go to visit their relatives for the night to have a big family feast at midnight, as is the tradition. But there are a lot of lonely kids on the streets that are going to get really high tonight to numb the pain of being orphaned, abandoned, or kicked out of their homes. Others will get high because they just don't want to visit home and have to deal with drunken, abusive parents.

I hate being half a world away. This was a lousy time for a vacation.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.

-Dom Helder Camara,
former Archbishop of Olinda and Recife, Brazil

Monday, November 30, 2009

new lil guy.

A few photos of the new baby. He was born early in the morning on November 7.

I snapped a photo of momma just hours before he arrived... She's super cute, eh?



At the hospital...




Visiting the family a couple days later...



Dad is super proud. He's just not in any of the photos. Oops.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

what happened thursday...

I know some people think I'm crazy for bringing street kids back to my house, but I'm so glad they knew where to find me and that I'd come running to help early Thursday morning when Moises hanged himself at the bridge.

Around 4am, my doorbell rang, and the dogs started freaking out. I ran outside and found two of the girls from the bridge at my door frantically sobbing. Through the tears they told me that Moises had died and that I need to come quickly to the bridge. They had a taxi waiting outside, so I changed out of pajamas and ran out the door.

On the way to the bridge, the girls told me that Moises had had a fight with his girlfriend a few hours earlier. He was depressed, got high, and hung himself from a tree near the bridge.

I asked the taxi driver to call the police while I ran up to check on Moises. When the kids saw me, they came running, hollering that he was still breathing a little. And so without wanting to waste a precious minute, I had the kids carry Moises to the taxi and we sped to emergency at the main hospital here in town with three of the kids from the bridge.

When we go there, the doctors came out with a machine to check his vitals and told us that he was gone and there was nothing they could do. They looked at me and said, "So what do we do?" It was almost like they were washing their hands of the whole thing. I asked if they had someone who could help us with his body that was still laying in the back seat of the taxi, but they said that they couldn't accept it. The said to drive him over to the morgue.

The driver took us over to the morgue, which was closed because it was the middle of the night. There was no bell or number to call, so I called the police and told them the situation. They assured me somebody would be there shortly.

Twenty minutes later, I called dispatch back to see where the police were, and they didn't seem to know what I was talking about. So once again, I told them the situation and requested that someone come help us get into the morgue.

Another twenty minutes later, I called back because the police still hadn't shown up. This time they knew who I was and assured me that they were near by. So finally, after waiting almost an hour outside the morgue with Moises' body in the back seat of the taxi, the homicide police arrived and opened the doors.

They questioned the three kids and me about what happened, then they told us to go up to the bridge and wait for investigators to come by. So the same taxi driver drove us back.

I broke the news to the kids that Moises had really died, and they cried for a while until the glue took affect and numbed their pain. I was sitting in the canal with kids, waiting for the police to arrive when the oldest guy there, and the leader at the bridge, started speaking with demons.

For several months, he had been away from the bridge working at a garden center but was recently fired. He had gotten in a fight with a co-worker and cut the other kids' stomach up and down in an obvious attempt to kill him. Thank God, the boy survived and is recovering in the hospital right now.

So now he's back at the bridge using drugs, which turn him into a monster and open a door to hell.

So while we were waiting for the police to arrive, I sat three feet away from this boy and watched him speaking clearly to something he saw standing directly in front of him. He was undeniably having a conversation and saying things like, "You know they're going to blame you for this..." Then, he started manifesting, speaking in an inhuman language, and he appeared to be oblivious to the kids around him who were calling his name. I was praying silently in my mind without speaking words out loud, and at one point, the boy stopped talking and turned to look me in the eye as if he could every word I was praying.

Some police came by just minutes later and chatted with the kids and me. When the left, the kids went back to their glue bottles and passed out because none of them had slept during the night. So I went home and started making phone calls, trying to locate his family...

Thankfully, there are some very capable people here to help sort out these kinds of emergencies. Oscar and the folks from Casa Azul, a project that works with street kids, helped locate family so we could inform them about Moises. I had never had to do that before, and I was almost speechless. They also ran around doing all the necessary paperwork to get him buried.

Everything eventually got sorted out, and we gathered money together to pay for Moises' casket because the family didn't have the funds. After an all night vigil at the mother's house, we buried Moises yesterday around 4:30...

Please be praying for the kids. The spiritual battle going on for their souls is escalating, and they need protection. They do, and so do those of us who are trying to minster to them.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

r.i.p. moises



How many dying must there be?
So many untold memories
Who really cares, so many stares
People fade away everyday

Empty bottles tell sad stories
Filthy photos fumbled through
Grubby fingers buy a few
Sick finds for the creep

I can almost hear you breathing
Are you really out there crying?
I can almost feel you dying
Are you . . . Dead?

Parking lots of trash and treasures
Bags and piles of sinful pleasures
Discarded frightful secrets
Jaded eyes dig so deep

How many voices,
How many children,
How many choices,
How many lies,
How many deaths,
How many victims,
How many addictions,
How many loved ones,
How many lost ones,
How many searching,
How many barely holding on . . . .?

Did she find the answer?
Does anybody know her?
Does anybody hold her?
Does anybody love her?

We keep walking over corpses
Retiring our own feeble voices
Disillusioned in her volition
We can see the end


Headnoise, Haunting Enigma

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

trees.

One of my favorite things about Cochabamba is that they don't tear down big, old trees when they build roads.

This is one of the better ones...